*hai*......... todae is damn sian man........... one of e most sianest saturdaes....... all of a sudden i feel like not going for e performance tonite.....hai..... feel damn tired.... cheryl got caught for pontangin chapel session.... man.. i hate my sch more n more everydae....... i wan to juz burn down e whole sch n then transfer to another sch.... my first choice would b serangoon secondary school.... there, there is no stress n all...... at least there, u wun worry bout many things........i kinda regretted transferring school...... at least i regret gifing my place in nan chiau...... if i hadnt, i wouldnt be in this much shit.... getting involved into soo much activities in school .... i juz wan to b anormal person..... i dun wan anything to do wif e principal... i dun wan to known by quite a no. of students coz of my father....i dun wan ppl to say tt i get extra nice treatment coz e principal noes my father.... n i especially hate it when ppl say i get to do this n tt n dun get scolding becoz of my father....wads it wif this ppl man... i dunwan e principal to tell me tt im one of her fav. student.........i wan fair treatment in school.....dunwan to get off scottfree becoz they gif my father "face".....i wanna go sumwhere tt no ones me becoz of my father..... maybe sumwhere like saudi arabia..haha.......n i dun wan sum ppl to tok to me coz they wanna noe my bro.. wads so special bout him man.. wads so special bout my father too..... its not like as if my father is sum big shot rite? mum says i should get A1s so tt i wun disgrace my father... but instead, im getting Bs n Cs n im gonna get Fs too sooner or later...im sorry man. i cant meet up to everyone's expectations....... but i dun gif a shit now liao ... i only wan to b juz average.... i dunwan to be a student who produces good results..... if i can pass, im satisfied already.. if im lucky n can get sumthing more , id b glad already..*hai* i dun mind changing places wif sumone else who is juz a regular student in e eyes of e teachers n e principal n haf fun in school n not get so much stress.... *hai* crap la... im toking crap...... this is wat happens to me wheneva im bored...... oo.. bro they all went to watch bruce almighty..... one by one all pang se me..... celines off to sentosa, kais off to buy rebecca a prez.. nats supposed to cum.. but in e end, shes meeting me at kallang later.... verons supposed to go wif us, but she decided to go out wif other frens instead....... wats it wif ppl pang se-ing ppl nowadaes?...................great.. dad's back..... n hes gonna scold me soon ......... first thing cum back, ask me to study when i juz did tt in e morning......hes pissed cos of my results......... im gonna be dead on mondae...... coz i noe tt i failed english........ i haf no idea how i failed english k. so dun ask me y i fail...... oh man.. i wanna dig a hole n bury myself alive..... lets get ready to dig my grave... n get my tombstone ready... *lame* im bored la.... ^_^

*hai* for e whole of today i was damn shitified... coz i forgot to bring my art file.... so screwed........ but in e end i got kai n bro to bring me my file all e way form home .haha thnx to u 2 manz...... welllllll, i failed e maths overall by 1 mark.......... feeling damn dumb now..... one mark leh........... *tsk* *tsk*.. feeling so useless now........
i cant do a single shit rite la........ aint tt true? *hai*.... got this 4 lill mosquitoe bite-like thingy on mua hand.. dunno wat it is.. kinda itchy.. hope tt its chicken pox.... then dun haf to go sch ...haha... then since im so weak, ill juz die from it n no ones can save me.... wait.... whu wans to save me man..... *hai*... then again, e song * nobody likes me everybody hates me ill go eat sum worms* stupid mom nagging at me... soooooooooooooo irritating...... ask me to stop at 11pm... if i stop at 11 pm, it means tt i used e comp for a pathetic 1/2 hr only........... after one whole week of tormenting test n studying n all e horrible saddening results n remarks made by teachrs..... woa lau..................... suddenly feel damn pek...... *hai*......... bro's siao.... play so much basketball todae n then go jogging.. then now studying like no ones business.. i think he go siao liao... aiya.. whu cares bout him man..... tomolo muz collect brobro's prez from coro.. haha.. happy belated birthdae prez. so dumb...... of coz... its me wat....cant wait for all these shitty tests to be over.... but bro's mid yr exams will end earlier.. then he'll niao me like siao!!!!!!!!!! NNNNOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!! he will say " eh.. i playing liao leh... wat u doing?".......n ill b like.. studying physics??? *pathetic* aiya.. dunno wat to write liao......-_-

aw man......... i failed mt maths paper1.......... 37/80......... gonna fail part 2 as well... no dooubt i will...........*hai* i told slimy to find 3 method marks for ze mua....... he said he will.... aiya.. in e end he oso wun wan la........ well anyway, got scolding liao ... no big deal. got demoralized by mum tt im not even ITE standard n tt i can juz go n die..... dun worry mum, one dae ill die for u to see ok? haha.... as long as i retain or sumthing tt i think is a killer, ill juz go n die peacefully sumwhere... now... any suggestions? ^_^ im open for any suggestions ya noe...........once agian...* no body likes me everybody hates me ill go eat sum worms.....* well,,,,,, so shitty. todae got chem test... think im gonna fail tt too..... then ms siti will stop putting pressure on me ... keep asking me to get A1... she shld noe tt its impossible for me lor... look at me man... im so dumb, no brains. even if i haf, it would b pea sized.......no talent no nothing... mayb bro was rite... i slhd haf juz stayed in serangoon gardens n go n learn how to b a gaangster n no need to study... maybe hes rite tt im supposed to be in normal stream, juz tt i was damn tyco during PSLE........ man... demoralised again....... let me see, mum wans me to go n die, bro wans me to transfer back to serangoon gardens n go to normal stream,celine wans to fuck off a few weeks ago.....kai's teeling everybody tt my pussy tear... WTF? well.. mine isnt ok.......... im still a pure V.I.R.G.I.N......... wat an asshole he is man.........................god muz hate me ,cursed me for eternity,god muz hate me mayb u shld break from me...im breaking down n u cant save me, fucking hell n.. i wanna go home ****************last nite i had to study for this test, but i forgot, man im dead...*** i guess its no use im screwing up every single thing i tried to do.......im born to lose yeah yeah yeah yeah........... im going siao....... AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH T_T

oooh la la ~~~ todaes such a horrible dae cos i think im gonna fail my ss test!!!! wooooo~~~ y am i still so happy........ i think im siao. well, ss test was a disaster cos i tot tt source B was source A until mr lee told us to do sum changes in source B... n tt was like.... half an hr after e paper started? so all along i was thinking... wat is this question asking man....(e questions requires u to refer to source A but i was looking at source B thinking it was sourceA) y are they asking me this damn ques when e source doesnt even gif a shit hint or ans.. k i admit... i was dumb for todae........well, after e test, me n gracie went to coro to make kor's prez..a custom made watch wif my fav neoprint as e background.....cool huh? it doesnt cum cheap ok..... it costs 39.00....... look how much im willing to spend for my dear brother......... he'd betta like it or ill squeeze e shit outta him..... gracie bought a stupid tin of chocolates for him...( haha.. wait till he opens it man... * woooo~ * ) well, saturade gonna go watch movie --- matrix reloaded!!!!!!!!!!!!!! on my bro bro's bdae!!!! 17 may..dunno wat to wear...... my mom let me change piano time!!!!!! YESH!!!!!!!! CAN STAY OUT LONGER!!!!!! AAAAAHHHHHH SO SHUANG.... ALOT OF PPL GOIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!SO LONG NV GO OUT WIF SO MANY PPL LIAO!!!!TTS LIFE MANZ......~ anyway, so happy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! well, hope u ppl readin this all r happy for a certain reason or another too!!!!!!!!! smile smile!!!! =D

staring into e blank screen,
nothing to do... so i started to think.
hows it like to die in pain,
n hows it like to cut ur veins.
i think im going crazy now,
coz im tryin to moo like a cow..
seriously im not joking,
im really trying to immitate a cow's mooing.
hm....... maybe i can get my ans,
to wat it feels like to b lifeless.
but first of all ill haf to plan,
how i wan to create my death.
# 1)stick myself with a pencil lead?
# 2)or die of being too fat..
# 3)or maybe i shall juz live on happily,
till e day when i die peacefully.
maybe i shall juz take e 3rd choice,
so that i can luv n grow.
k... wats e prob wif me these days,
indulging myself in these rhymin essays..
i think this is often my last resort,
if i haf nothing much to tok about.........

yyyyyyyoooouuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu~~~~ i think im kinda high now........... ooooo i luv almost every single thing tt i see now..... i love my comp, my mouse *oo so cute* , my cool mouse pad (kinda peeling tho), i luv er................my red leaf pen , tt paine poster on my door.....woooooooooooooooooooo i should change it to rikku man...... shes sooo funkeh....ooooooooOOOOOOOOOooooooooOOOOOOOooooooooooo pls pls pls pls pls do ignore me about my high-ness tt im going thru now........ooooooOOOOOOOOoooooOOOOOOOOooooooo i think im high now cos i was pissed juz now... then had let off my pissing feeling n so now im high....... e maths.. hm..... think id fail.. nvm fail then e most juz kill myself ..... lets see.... with wat shall i kill myself? hm..... lets use a pencil..... ooo but this pencil's lead's broken.... then sharpen it.. with wat? a sharpaneh?? ooo wrong spelling... i dun care...... wheres e sharpaneh? its on e table, but e table's too messy.. then pack it.. wif wat shall i pack it?? pack ur pencils first, sharpen them nicely n put them where they came from... but how to sharpen? use a sharpaneh... wheres e sharpaneh?? on e table.. but e table is too messy.... AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH oooo im high now.....OOOOOO i luv my frens, i luv my house, luv my fone..... luv u ppl whu r reading this............(dun get me wrong,,,, im not a les if ur a gal......) woolululululu~~~~~
i dunno wad to write leh..... aiya.. i think e most ill get 4 my emaths test is er........ 52 / 80?? haha i too confident liao.. i think im gonna get a big fat 0 -_- but i dun care la.. as long as im happy i dun gif a shit.!!!! wwwwoooooooo ^_^

0oOoOoOoOoOoO...................... its a boring dae, its a boring life n im sittin alone in e house n everyones havin more fun than me........ lets try writing a poem man... tho i can nv do it as pro-ly as sam khoo or cheryl.... ^_^
this crappy poem is dedicated to those folks out there known as grace khoo, alison gan, timothy yan, celine tan ,natalia yek, hakkai,cheryl , kaiba hong,mattew sundayo, gabriel n all those ppl tt i noe!!!!! =)

MY CRAPPY POEM

my comp jamms like crazy,
as i sit here feeling lazy....
maybe i need sum entertainment,
or should i juz go find sumthin to learn?

its sure is a boring day,
wif nothing to do or play.
all i did was juz study n study non stop,
knowing tt ill nv be e top.
but who really cares?
coz i dun gif a damn.
the best is not to fail,
but if i do ill juz haf myself killed.

but theres one thing i wan to say tho,
even if the river doesn't continue to flow,
to those ppl tt i consider frens.
"ill alwaes b there,
no matter rain or shine.
so dun be dismayed,
even if things turn out like shit"

i thus now end my crappy poem,
n thank u ppl for readin it.

THANK U!!!!!!! ^_^ *im such a crap ?!* =p

lalalalalalalaalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalala~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ todae's a nice yet boring day...... man my tooth still gurts.. e damn doctor go n drill my teeth cos he wants to re-fill my teeth cos he found a teeny wheeny little hole in my filling tt i had last time when i was damn young cos i juz LUV eating sweets when i was young.. dun u ppl juz luv sweets too???? well nyway.... im so pathetic im eating instant noodles n drinking water..... didnt really go anywahere except for bishan arcade wif bro n celine cos we got nothing to do. played sum ddr, sum drums, n sum keyboard thingy... got quite a no. of 100%s wwwoooo~ listening to id do anything by simple plan again!!! sooo nice i juz cant get sick of it................luv e drums n guitars...........AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH ssssoooooo nice!!!!!!.. aw man.. bro bro juz called n say he not cuming back for dinner........ im gonna haf a boring dae sia... wonder who he went out wif......aw man......... everyones havin exams.......except me.............i feel so bad............ ah anyway.. its so boring.....................not alot of ppl online... wanted to buy grace's prez.. but dunno wad to get.. so in e end nv get...... CANT WAIT FOR E DAY WHERE EVERONE FINISH THEIR EXAMS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! -_-zzzzzzZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzz

i juz read grcaie's bloggie.. tot tt im e same as her..... receivin no sms-es...... dun worry grace!!!! im wif ya!!!!!!!!! but dun worry gracie, once their exams r over, we wun b so bored .. so cheer up manz!!! XD

yoooozzzzzzzzz~~~~~~~~~ I FEEL GOOD *DEHDEHDEHDEHDEH* as how e damn tune goes........ today's a FRIDAY!!!! N DAMN RELAXING N WONDERFUL FRIDAY!!!!!! WHERE I GET TO PLAY E WHOLE DAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WOOOOHOOOOOOOO~~~~ well haha..... bro bro was telling bout him louis n sum other of his frens surfing e net n louis did sumthing to e internet system n they could even surf PORN... wadehell????? of all things man.. pron.... ahhhh, whu cares man... as they say, almost all guys r horny...... heres a good example of tt sentence.... well, heard tt alot ppl had their exams todae.... hows ya ppl???? hows ya exams man.. hope u all would get good grades n dun fail. but for me n my class, i think we're dead meat...... teo ai woon said tt our class' scripts are easy to mark.... probably cos its all wrong till an extent tt she dun even haf to read finish e sentence.. n i did my summary WRONGLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I FEEL LIKE KILLIN MYSELF THIS INSTANT......... Y DIDNT I READ E DAMN QUESTION PROPERLY ALTHOUGH I HAD ONLY 10 MINS LEFT TO DO E DAMN SUMMARY?????? OOHHHH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO................ IM SO SCREWED............. i dun wan to fail...... i dun wan to retain ley............. ill maluate my parents n myself.............. if there's anything i hate most to lose, it would be my PRIDE.... man.... i wan my pride no matter wad i m no matter wad i haf or wadeva i becum..... =(
if i fail this yr n retain, i swear ill kill myself by gobblin a HUGE amount of sleeping pills.. so ppl whu doesnt wan me 2 die, buy up all e sleeping pills in singapore k?? haha.. juz jking..... poor celine, she actually got an ans in her chi paper correct, but she tot it was wrong n changed it... so now shes damn pissed... so pissed tt she keeps saying fcuk n even scolded me ,kai n mattew fcuk......... aw man................... i mean.. no point man........ but if becoz tt ans, she fails then it matters.................................AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH WHU CARES BOUT HER NOW???? I CARE MORE FOR MY OWN ENGLISH PAPER MAN!!!!! ITS NOT JUS ANY PAPER, BUT ITS MY ENGLISH PAPER OK...................... N I CANNOT N MUZ NOT BUT WOULD MOST PROBABLY FAIL ........OoOoOoOoO IM GOONA NUTZ................. =( =( =( -_-.......*SIGH*

woohoo~~~~~~ got cheerleading competition todae.... so nice!!!!!!! cooke's house's cheerleading routine is SOOOOOO DAMN CUTE N COOL?! the music went "r u ready?" or sumthing liddat.. then there was a sound of a camera when it cliks n they all went =D *pose* so cute!!!! n there was one part where e music suddenly change into classical music.. n e cheerleaders were like... "huh?" <=of coz is act wan la... any1 could tell....... n suddenly, e music came back on wif a BOOM n they all continued wif their routines............ N ITD DAMN NICE LOR........ countin their costume out ..... but e skirt was nice...... but i still think fearon's ( my wonderful house ) cheerleadin costume is e bez lookin one juz tt e front of e shirt looks too yellow.............. should haf added summore black..... well anyway, my house didnt win.... coz, they were like....not really coordinated.. n there wasnt much involvment from e teachers.... DAMN...........well, met mandy during recess....i had a promise wif her tt ill join cheerleadin wif her in sec4........ oh no..........o.O n mandy said " this yr fearon's cheerleading routine kinda sucky.." which i totally agree.... "lucky we nv join this yr.." i so agree to tt sentence..."lucky we didnt join this yr.." or else we would haf been maluated to e core man....but well...... it seems tt i cant n should not break my promise... but its gd to hear tt cheryl might be joining as well!!!! XD WOOOHOOOOO~ itll b fun if its liddat......hope itll really go tt way.........tomolo got english common test paper 2.... shit those teachers....... they say we aint no mid yr... only common test..... but they made it sooo much like a mid yr everyone freaked out totally... esp me... # 1.. on e question paper, it wrote.. mid yr examinations 2003....# 2 we had to remove all our books from uderneath e table...# 3.. we had to separate our tables damn far away.. n e time given is even longer than e time given in mid yr.... WAD CRAP........COMMOM TEST?! IS TT COMMON?????? i soooo dun think so...... aw man........ n u noe wat? we still haf lessons goin on in e morning as well.. n e stupid common test is after school from 3.30pm to god noes when it ends..* no offence to christians =) * i juz hope it ends soon... n hope tt 10th june cums as swiftly as e wind.. coz tt's e day where ill start to go out like siao WOOOOO~ thinking bout it makes me wanna scream........... -_-

hai~~~~~~~~~~ wad a boring day.... well, im gonna write bout yesterdae cos ya see.... i wanted to update yesterdae but my damn internet connection was screwed up. then i cannot post n publish.... woah lau..... yesterdae i went out wif bro bro,celine n timo towatch anger management ... but when we got there, they suddenly change decision n wanted to watch xmen2 instead.. *woah..i juz wanted to watch xmen2* so i guess its to my advantage huh? ^_^ anyway, night crawler damn cool !!!! teleport here n there.......... not only he is cool.. pyro n wolverine oso damn cool.....WOO~ all e characters r cool basically!!!!!!!!!! WWWWOOOOOOOO~ IM HIGH!!!! yesh i m... n im going siao.....anyway.... i cant really remember wat happened yesterdae la.......... goldfish memory ya see.... it doesnt last over 1 day..... i guess tt's why im not study material huh !?

lalala~~~~ its a horrible dae its a horrible nite n im sitting here infront of e comp feeling sianz.........-_-.......... heard tt i got 53 for chinese.......wadehell?????? i nv gotten so low b4 in my whole entire life lor.. aiya but whu cares la.. nv fail can liao.... n anyway i didnt study for it at all man..............juz came down form celine's house..... went up there to try to complete my damn art but failed to do so.. i did e stupid netting of e damn bird..... a dotted bird.... n a disgusting looking duck..... *yux*..... it was all destroyed n looked like a piece of shit to everyone tt i eva knew................................. i hear my bro bro................ hes home... finally....................................he went to e police station to do sum report thingy for his fren whu got whacked up.... poor thingy.......-_-........ well.............. i dun really noe him la... so i dun care.........n today is a fridae!!! *yea man* can sleep damn late n wake up damn late tomolo.........but tomolo got piano!!!!!!!! n i haven do my theory yt!!!!! aaahhhh whu cares la.. tomolo then do... n my bro juz said tt my birdie looks nice.... AAAAAHHHHHHH 2ND TIME TT HE ACTUALLY PRAISED MUA DRAWINGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! well.... got to see timo todae.... tts rewarding enough............... n todae's my mama bdae!!!!!!!!!! lets all sing her a bdae song!!!! *happy bdae to her.. happy bdae to her... happy bdae to mama.... happy bdae to her* *WOOOOOOOO~* yea yea yea.........its quite a wonder y we didnt go to sum fancy restaurant to eat like piggies whu haf not eatne for a century.... well, maybe its bcoz of sars... how shitty can things get man... n i cant go outon saturdaes cos i got piano lessons at 5... horrible playing skills i haf... once u hear it, ur dead meat man i tell ya.... i play n stop n play n stop.. it'll take me 4eva juz to master one stupid exam piece... but on e other hand.. i takes me only a few days to learn how to play a pop song piece or sum other nice pieces tt can attract me to play it... well,,, i wanna go out tomoo... but celine cannot go... so i dun wanna go liao...... no point if im going there to stone by muaself n see my bro bro enjoy wif all his frens....-_-

~* NOBODY LIKES ME, EVERYBODY HATES ME, ILL GO EAT SUM WORMS....*YUM* *~
IM JUZ YUHAN N LIFE IS A NIGHTMARE!!!!!
IM JUZ YUHAN N I NOE TT ITS NOT FAIR!! (huh? wadehell.....!? im toking crap...)
NOBODY CARES COS IM ALONE IN THIS DAMN HOUSE..(not realli alone la...... but feelin lonely now...o.O )
N THEY'RE ( referin to ppl outside playing ) HAFIN MORE FUN THAN ME,........
RIGHT NOW........
( sorry if u like simple plan n tt im changein e lyrics....... man..... those lyrics r suppose to sound sad n horrible... i guess it turned out to be damn ass-kickin crappy...)
lets try e whole song....( some words i changed n added them in)
I WOKE UP IT WAS 11,
WAITED TILL 7 JUZ TO FIGURE OUT TT NO ONE WOULD CALL..
I THINK IVE GOT ALOT OF FRENS BUT I DUN REALLI HEAR FORM EM,
WATS ANOTHER NITE ALL ALONE....
WHEN UR ALMOST SPENDING EVERYDAY ON UR OWN!!! n here its goes...
IM JUZ YUHAN, N LIFE IS A NITEMARE!!!
IM JUZ YUHAN, I NOE TT ITS NOT FAIR..
NOBODY CARES COZ IM ALONE IN THE HOUSE N THEY'RE HAVIN MORE FUN THAN ME... TONITE...
n maybe when e nite is dead ill crawl into my bed,staring at these 4 walls again...
i try to think bout e last time
it isnt really a good time
coz there is not much difference t all.......not like ppl tt r always outdoors..... n here it goes
im juz yuhan, n life is a nitemare.. im juz yuhan i noe tt its not fair
nobody cares coz im alone in this damn house n they're havin more fun then meeeeeeeeeee...... wad e hell id wrong wif me dun fit in wif anybody how did this happen to me?!.. wide awake n bored n i cant go ta sleep, n everynite is e worst nite eva...

n u ppl noe how e song goes again rite??? cumon ppl sing it wif me....... im juz yuhan...... wadehell.....-_-

*hai* todae was very strenuous.... gracie came in e morn, we went for breakfast n then went to j8 to play 1 game of DDR coz she wans to.. so we went n played 1 game of it.. then when we were leaving, we met bro bro n bro bro borrowed gracie's fone to show his frens<=cant remember whose there liao...... who later went to watch XMEN 2!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH IM DYING TO WATCH IT BUT I DUN HAF E DAMN TIME N EVEN IF I HAF, NO ONES GOING WIF ME!!!!!......... anybody wans to watch it?? -_- ..... well, me n gracie then went to cheryl's house to find her n haf luch there ... food was great... at least better than my cooking... eat e food tt i cook n ur gone....k... maybe not gone unless theres sum1 there wif me... well anyway, we then went back to j8 again n played like siao in e arcade... when gracie left, me n cheryl went to buy my mama's present n then chiong back to e stupid arcade again... n played like....4 games of DDR in a row????? wadehell? i almost died from tiredness.... damn i didnt die form it.. should haf played 6 ina row then ill b in heaven~...on e way back to mua house, we took a taxi n cheryl was toking bout her luv life... AS USUAL...... n then all of a sudden, e focus was on me..... wat the........ (TIMO PLS DUN READ THIS...DUN BLAME ME IF U DO..)n she was askin me hell lots of questions tt i i dun wan to ans .......n finally, she ended of wif.."r u sure hes serious?" aw man......... i almost killed her there n then..no one.. as in NO ONE, HAS EVA ASKED ME TT QUESTION B4..... well, i didnt ans her n i think tt kinda pissed her off... ya see.....im not like her.. take things sooooo damn easily.. 2 boats she has.....of course shes not like me.... i dun take 2 boats ya noe... =) well... anyway... im not bothered by her ques.... n life goes on....-_- too lazy to do homwork.... dun care bout homework liao.. wooo~ -_-